


this is your brain on

by fated_addiction



Category: K-pop, Mamamoo, Real Person Fiction
Genre: F/F, Lowercase, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 10:32:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12386385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fated_addiction/pseuds/fated_addiction
Summary: "we're over," wheein repeats. "like forever. like forever ever."Wheein, Moonbyul, and a very bad breakup. Sort of.





	this is your brain on

**Author's Note:**

> The iPhone fic shenanigans continue, or whatever. Mostly, this is for K because she's the best sounding board ever and entertains me and my crazy ideas.

the door _slams_. 

like hits the wall and creates this sealed, awful vibration throughout the room. wheein storms in, in between all of this, stomping her feet. "we're _over_!" she yells and it echos over the door and moonbyul trying to turn the page of her book. her sneakers screech against the floor too.

but moonbyul doesn't watch her either. it's a science; let her scram, throw a shoe (she's done it twice this week), then breathe and tell her about the coffee she brought for her, the one sitting on mini fridge getting cold because it's from this morning. wheein is flustered though. pink cheeks. hands on her hips, fingers curling into white knuckles. it's feels like it's late. maybe it's the three hours of sleep that she's had.

"we're over," wheein repeats. "like forever. like forever _ever_."

"should i ask?" moonbyul says finally. kind of annoyed. because she knows they haven't fought in awhile. the last time, it was about going to the red velvet concert. which was dumb. because seulgi is a friend. everybody knows.

"no. because you're going to look at me like that."

"like what?"

" _that_ ," wheein points to her face. "and then i'm going to get upset all over again."

"but you're already upset," moonbyul rolls her eyes. she tosses her book to the side. "and i can't help you if you're already upset and not telling me why."

wheein drops unceremoniously to the floor. straight across from her. her legs stretch out and she sighs loudly.

"that's my coffee," she says.

moonbyul nods. "we can't break up if we're not dating," she says too.

wheein glares. she makes a soft sound. turning her head away, she stares at the coffee on top of the fridge. "it's probably cold," wheein mentions.

"do you want to date?" moonbyul asks and suddenly, she's weirdly serious. or the question is weirdly serious. her throat feels a little dry. she shifts and leans on her knees. "is that why we're fighting a lot more? because we're fighting a lot more." moonbyul smirks a little. "or you're trying to fight a lot more."

"am _not_." wheein's face is red. 

she shifts to stand. walks over and grabs her coffee. moonbyul picks up her book again, smiling.

and then just like that, it's over all over again.

 

 

 

 

 

their relationship has always been a little strange. at least, this is what everyone tells them.

"stage five clinger," hwasa tosses at wheein.

"ugh, shut _up_ ," wheein snaps.

and moonbyul knows she's walked into something because hwasa bounds off, grinning and flashing a thumbs up. secretly, she thinks hwasa enjoys torturing all of them this way.

wheein is eyeing her when she finally enters the room. she drops to the couch. next to wheein. because it makes the most sense. she pokes the other girl's arm and sighs.

"are we going to talk about the other day?" moonbyul asks.

"no," wheein answers. "there's no reason too."

"for you." moonbyul feels amused. she watches wheein squirm over the couch. "do you _want_ to fight?"

wheein narrows her eyes. "you're making fun of me."

" _you're_ the one that got a haircut after i told you that i liked your long hair best," moonbyul blurts. out of nowhere. completely out of nowhere. it surprises her so much that she claps a hand over her mouth.

wheein stares her. like really stares at her. her expression morphs into something serious. maybe too serious, but enough to unnerve moonbyul. this isn't about feelings, she tells herself. it can't be.

can it?

wheein laughs and stands. she reaches over, pats her on the top of her head.

"whatever, eonni," she says.

 

 

 

 

 

 

they have talked about their feelings before.

really. like a serious conversation about two adults who have feelings about each other. moonbyul remembers. they went to a coffee shop. they shared a piece of cake. strawberry shortcake, she remembers sometimes. wheein picked off all the berries and moonbyul only had half the icing; neither of them touched the cake part which, looking back, always seems stupid.

wheein was the first to say something. (of course.) "i want to date you," she shrugs. "i feel like that's all that i can think about. dating you. holding your hand, you know?"

it took moonbyul a moment. maybe a little too long. she doesn't think she was shocked. (sometimes she does?)

"okay." moonbyul pauses. her face is hot. she gives wheein a crooked smile. "i mean," she stops. she looks down. "i have thought about us before."

"together?"

"together."

"good thoughts?" it was a wide, toothy grin that moonbyul got. the kind that makes wheein swear up and down and up and down again that she is a real human being. moonbyul felt a little differently. her mouth smiled and it hurt. because this felt a little heavier than usual.

"good thoughts," moonbyul replies.

moonbyul remains honest. knows she's mixing tenses. feels it in the pit of her stomach because oh _god_ they are really talking about feelings and maybe she should have thought about this. yeah, seriously.

"i only think good thoughts," she starts again. carefully, now. she hesitates. then draws herself up to full height in her chair. forgets completely about the cake. "about you," she says again. wheein snorts; moonbyul shrugs. "it's true," she says. then admits, "it's impossible to think of anything else. you take over my brain. sometimes it drives me crazy."

"only sometimes?"

moonbyul might have thrown a strawberry at wheein. they had both laughed. probably nervously. it depends who is remembering. 

"you know what i mean." moonbyul says this and it's true. they both have a long, complicated history with feelings. "but yeah, only sometimes. mostly because i can't tell if you're serious or not. or if you want to be serious or not. and that's kind of scary. actually," she curses, "it's pretty fucking terrifying."

wheein's eyes went round. like really round. they grow larger when she's nervous. and in that moment, she became exposed and moonbyul (who reads her like a habit) knew. it became really then, you know. real in a way were it was painful and exciting and painful again. because not everyone is ready to make a choice. not then and there. first loves are always innocent. last loves are scabs and scars, flashbacks and cravings. they are the tremor in your fingers. and this is how moonbyul decided wheein was the most beautiful person she has ever seen.

"sorry," she swallows. outside the window, the sun came out. someone goes _hey it's mamamoo!_ and it'll probably go to hell soon too. privacy, please.

"no you're not," wheein says. looks away and pushes the plate forward. "that's a little more than holding hands," she says.

neither of them knew who messed up.

 

 

 

 

 

so _fuck_ it. she follows wheein to the bathroom. 

solar pops her head out of her room. moonbyul waves her off. maybe she and wheein will fight today. like really fight. who knows, who cares, right?

"we're not done," she calls after wheein. her voice cracks and wheein leaves the bathroom door ajar. maybe it says come in. moonbyul is about to invade her personal space.

wheein shrugs. "you don't take me seriously."

"about _what_? not telling me what you're mad about but clearly blaming for it all the while talking about breaking up our hypothetical relationship that isn't anything but hypothetical."

"because i basically have to take a book to your head and smack some sense into you." wheein's expression darkens. she frowns, standing at the sink mirror. "or cut my hair," she decides. she tucks her hair behind her hair. "or probably shave my legs. but, like, i don't think you're that slow."

" _wow_ ," moonbyul drawls, drags too. she steps into the bathroom. "full circle, huh?"

the door clicks shut behind her. fights are personal anyway. wheein stands against the sink, then leans back, her legs spreading as moonbyul steps between them. they fight face to face only. especially these days.

"this fight is stupid."

"you can't even come out and say anything. you know i don't operate in subtlety. i don't have patience for that stuff. it makes me crazy. i'd rather you say it to my face.

"we did that already," wheein pushes back and her fingers flick against moonbyul's face. moonbyul blinks. wheein smirks. "remember? and it was the worst thing ever."

"what do you want me to do then?"

moonbyul feels her heart jam itself into her throat. her hands press over wheein's thighs. fact? fact: she doesn't hate wheein's haircut. she likes it. but once you have a certain fantasy, you know the kind where your fingers are pulling at her hair when she's sliding her mouth over yours, then your neck, then biting at your collarbone; there is something to be said about having a fistful of her hair.

but her words feel jumbled and she is staring at wheein's mouth. "do you want me to confess?" her throat tightens. "tell you that i love you. like really love you. that half the time i want to shove my tongue down your throat. or pull you to my bed. do you want me to write you a song? do you want me to start holding your hand? do you want chocolates? a date? a vacation. that's probably it. do you want to go on a trip together -"

what came first? the chicken? or is it wheein's mouth on hers. is it her teeth on her lip. how she feels them pull at the skin and grabs every chill, every breath she tries to have and writes them into her spine. is it the fact that moonbyul presses her fingers against wheein's belly, stretches them over her skin, then drags them against her thigh, then back over the waistband of her shorts. they're denim. frayed at the belt loops.

it's a weird feeling. panicky, maybe. does she slide her fingers under her belt loop. then there's the reality of wheein's mouth over hers. hot, sticky, and moonbyul kissing back.

"oh _god_ ," one of them says.

and then it's moonbyul's fingers that are sticky, hot and wet, wheein arching into her hand. "we suck at fighting," she breathes, her eyes glittering. like literally glittering.

"sure, okay," moonbyul breathes. or maybe just breathes.

it doesn't matter. the room is spinning. she's okay.

(they're okay.)

 

 

 

 

 

after:

"you need a new mattress."

wheein digs her shoulder into the bed again. moonbyul laughs. really laughs. because it's weirdly like they've been doing this all along anyhow. maybe there isn't supposed be any sort of right way to do this; they probably wrote the book on that part, if she thinks about it. (she does.) it would happen to them.

"i'm not going to get a new mattress," moonbyul replies. fingers tracing circles over wheein's stomach. "who has the time?"

"it's a health thing," wheein insists. "should change it ever ten years, you know?"

moonbyul rolls her eyes. "it hasn't been ten years. three, maybe."

"i'm calling your mom," wheein says.

moonbyul laughs, drops forward, her mouth presses against wheein's shoulder and she sort of, kind of laughs again. because it's funny. it's domestic. it's weird and a lot is happening. there might not be any real answers to this either.

"i think i confessed," she says quietly. she peeks up at wheein. "it's weird. it doesn't feel like i did."

wheein is quiet. maybe for a long time. it really isn't that dramatic. but the pause in the air is a very real pause, then her hand is moving to pull the blankets around the two of them. it's not answer. it's not even a solution. one step forward, just as much.

"you were honest," wheein says. she breathes. later, moonbyul tells her she likes her haircuts. it's growing on her. that's a play on words. "and i was too. that's how we do things."

the answer? this is the answer.

the truth is they're always going to be messy. moonbyul is okay with that.


End file.
